Besides the fact that this totally sounds like the name of a trashy country song, Essie Topless and Barefoot is the most popular nail polish on Pinterest at the moment. Say what you want about the Pinterest bitches and their chevron-covered boards; if there’s one thing they know, it’s nail polish.
This shit is literally amazing. Remember that one emo girl in middle school who always painted her nails with highlighter? Well obviously, she got a boujee job in product development at Ciat London and came up with this genius idea. Why have we even been painting our nails with brushes for all these years? Are we cavemen? Markers are obviously the move.
Even if you’re not into painting your own nails (I mean, is anyone actually into having their dominant hand look like you let a child try to paint it for you? Besides those girls who are always like I’m actually so good at painting my own nails. Congratulations, did I ask?), I’d highly advise at least rooting through this collection at Ulta for Instagram caption inspiration. Do You Sea What I Sea? and Exotic Birds Don’t Tweet are def the strongest contenders.
This nail polish has everything. (If you didn’t read that in Stefans voice from , you have some serious soul searching to do.) Anyway, it’s basically a highlighter for your nails, and I know you’re obsessed with highlighter because like, the number one question asked by drunk girls in bathrooms is Oh my godddddd what highliiiighter is thattt?!
The description for this nail polish sounds like a long-ass caption from a health and fitness blogger, so I’ll save you the pain and sum it up for you. Basically, this nail polish was designed to act as a juice cleanse but for your nails? I don’t know, I totally don’t get it. But if painting my nails red means I’m kind of participating in a detox without actually have to do anything, Im down. This is a perfect out for those of you (me) who didn’t do anything to get ready for bikini season, and aren’t really trying to make any significant moves, either.