I hate the gym. Traditional workouts make me want to die of boredom, and if you ask me to go on a hike, our friendship is over — it’s like you don’t even know me, man. Whatever the opposite of a gym rat is, that’s me. But how does someone who’s exercise adverse keep it moving? The answer is simple: I find things I enjoy doing so much that I forget about the exertion it requires, like swimming, dancing, and, you guessed it, sexy time! If fitness is your goal, it pays to know what sex positions burn the most calories, but the upside of sexercise is that you don’t have to care about things like calories, reps, or maintaining your heart rate to really, really enjoy these work outs. You don’t have to treat every workout like you’re training for a Spartan Race or American Ninja Warrior — just find something that encourages you to move your bod for the love of it.
If it just so happens to be that your preferred method of moving your bod is to bump and grind, well, I’ve got you covered with seven challenging but oh-so-satisfying positions to turn up the heat on your horizontal fitness routine.
Every good workout should start with a warm up, and the lotus position is one that’s easy to get into but will quickly raise your heart rate. Have your partner sit crosslegged on the bed and then lower yourself onto them, wrapping your legs around their back. Begin to slowly grind. Don’t let the apparent simplicity of this position fool ya — it’s a great work out for your legs, abs, and glutes.
2. Crabwalk Cowgirl
You’ve mastered cowgirl, so now it’s time to amp up the intensity with this modification. Have your partner lay on their back, but rather than straddle them with your knees on either side of their hips, lean back and prop yourself up with your hands and feet. You will have free range of motion to move up and down, side to side, or grinding in small circles. This is a full body workout with one hell of a payoff, since it offers both deep penetration and gives your partner ample access for clitoral stimulation. Can you believe you ever did regular crunches?
3. Shoulder Stand
If you have a passion for pilates, you’re going to love the Shoulder Stand. This one is going to rock your world and your core. Begin in the missionary position, then carefully have your partner transition into having your legs over their shoulders, then slowly move up so that your butt and lower back are lifted off the bed and into a shoulder stand. Finally, lift your legs off their shoulders and up into the air. You’ll be feeling the burn — in more ways than one — in no time.
4. The Arch
If the Shoulder Stand is a bit too intense, try the Arch instead. It has many of the same… ahem… benefits, but is a bit less strenuous. With your partner on their knees between your legs, lift your butt and lower back off the bed using your legs and a little support from you partner. You’ll be in a shoulder stand again, but this time with your feet to support you.
5. The Bridge
To add in an arms workout, modify The Arch into the The Bridge by lifting your upper back off the bed with your arms stretched out behind you. This is a great way to engage your upper body while your lower body is engaged in other more exciting activities.
6. The Wheelbarrow
For more upper body strengthening, flip that bridge over into the Wheelbarrow. To achieve this position, begin on all fours. Your partner can then lift you up the right height and enter you. Wrap your legs around them. Who wants to do bicep curls when toe curls are an option?
7. The Galloping Horse
Depending on your pace, the Galloping Horse is a great position to warm up with, get full-on cardio, or cool down, depending on if you go for a slow, satisfying grind or really pick up the penetrating pace. To hop in this saddle, have your partner sit in a chair, leaning back with their legs out in front of them. Straddle them to allow them to enter you, then lean back with your legs straight out on either side of them. Holding this pose while keeping the pace makes for a stellar workout, and you can increase or decrease the intensity by adjusting the height of your legs as you grind off into the sunset.
Best. Workout. Ever. Suck it, CrossFit!
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