ave you heard, ladiesssssss? “Boobs are back in a big way” according to one seriously bored New York Post writer. You know how you’ve been hiding those bad girls away for who knows how long? Shuddering them from the world because they just weren’t in style? Well finally, those floppy nuisances can be put to good use as part of your wardrobe!
Needless to say, women everywhere were quick to call out this article and its strange sort of sexist nature. The responses are so funny that they deserve an emoji of an Italian chef kissing her fingers, but they haven’t made that emoji yet.
Where did boobs go? Doesn’t matter. One thing’s for sure: They’re back now!
“Stand up straight, push out your chest and work that feminine charm, as bountiful boobs are back in style,” begins this nonsensical, fabricated nightmare article.
“For the last year, those of us blessed with a chest have been slaves to the trend for curbing our curves.”
OH, HAVE WE? What did you do about the size of your breasts in the last yearto keep up with the times? Did you layer on the sports bras? Hide ’em under your armpits? Tell them to take a gap year and backpack through Europe? If you like and want your boobs, then no, you didn’t. Because boobs are a body part, not an accessory.
It’s amazing that we remembered boobs at all considering how long they were apparently missing.
We couldn’t even post “MISSING BOOBS” flyers because, you know, censorship.
But fashion is cyclical, so smart women didn’t get rid of their boobs.
They just let them sit on the shelf.
But what option did women have, really, while boobs weren’t en vogue?
If you think about it, it’s actually quite a hassle to get rid of your boobs.
Especially when you consider the mess that is the American health care system.
This woman has the right idea.
Now that they’re back in style, vintage boobs are the way to go.
If they don’t brush your kneecaps when you walk, yourknockers are not trendy enough.
So go on, dig your boobs out from under those Christmas sweaters.
They may smell like mothballs, but just give ’em a good scrubbing and they’ll be ready to go.