Mark, The Motherfucking Renaissance Man Himself


The talented son of a bitch…

1. Mark can play the piano

His parents only made him take lessons till the sixth grade, but Mark still plays every now and then as a hobby. Jesus H. Christ. I once heard him run through the entirety of a Chopin waltz with only three or so mistakes.

2. The guy is basically a genius

He’s real humble about it, but Mark straight up studied biology at Stanford. Seriously, he turned down a basketball scholarship to Temple in order to go to a school that offered a stronger pre-med program. Safe to say that Mark is one of the smartest dudes I’ve ever met.

And get this: He finishes a book a week.

3. He can cook

Mark’s the man. He’s been cooking for himself ever since he went vegetarian at age 14. Two or three times a year he’ll put together a really tasteful dinner party. This son of a bitch pulled off a nice three-course meal almost singlehanded. Who does that?

4. Mark’s been getting into watercolors recently

Hell yeah. Check out this gorgeous mountain landscape he did. He knocked this out in, like, two hours. Yeah.

5. Sports? Mark can do those

Name any pickup sport, and Mark will slay at it. He is an out-and-out danger on the court, field, or pitch. He once beat the shit out of a guy too, so he can definitely box. The dude’s a goddamn legend.

6. He gives really thoughtful gifts

Seriously. Mark found a shirt in exactly my size and style for my birthday last year. I’m hard to shop for, and he must have put a lot of time and consideration into that one.

7. Mark has been to Prague

He won’t brag about himself, but he’s made a lot of international friends online, and every now and then he’ll pay them a visit. He did a semester abroad in the Paris of Eastern Europe. Czech’s supposed to be a hard language to pick up, but Mark can still toss around a few choice phrases!

8. Just look at those eyes

They’re striking and a little sad. Holy hell, this motherfucker’s got it all.

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